SOUTHLAND TALES - starring Sarah Michelle Gellar

Director:     Richard Kelly
Producers:     Bo Hyde, Sean McKittrick, Kendall Morgan, Matthew Rhodes
Screenplay:     Richard Kelly
Co-starring:     Mandy Moore, Jon Lovitz, Justin Timberlake, Dwayne Johnson
US Release Date:     22 September 2007
Length:     145 minutes
Genre:     Drama
Interesting Character Scale (Jill Robinson=0 Buffy Summers=10}:     seven
Best scene for Gellar:     Krysta on Pilgrims

Southland Tales poster and American DVD cover Alternate reality as created by a time-shifted actor (Dwayne Johnson), and a time-shifted Iraq vet (Sean William Scott). Set in Los Angeles on July 4, 2008, as it stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. Gellar portrays Krysta Now, an adult film star developing her own reality television project.

The biggest mistake made by Director Richard Kelly was to begin the film with a nuclear attack on the US. That is hard to follow. It is kind of depressing, and set the mood for the rest of the film.

Gellar said this about the cover art of Krysta Now's porn video: "To make the cover look authentic, they put my face on someone else's body. They let me pick the body of the girl they put my head on, so I picked one with a curvy body and butt. No one wants to see a girl with a flat ass!" The dvd cover was shown briefly in the film, and the back cover, with the full body image, was scarcely visible as the Senator's daughter waved it in the air as she spoke. The front cover may have had the full body image to begin with, but in the film it shows mostly as black with Gellar's head on the upper right. The video's title was COCHCUGGERS 2. Krysta Now's DVD - Cochchuggers 2 - front cover

"Deep down inside everyone wishes they were a porn star. We're a bisexual nation living in denial. all because of a bunch of nerds. A bunch of nerds who got off a boat in the 15th century and decided that sex was something to be ashamed of. All the Pilgrims did was ruin the American indian orgy of freedom."
    -- Krysta Now (Kapowski)

The Teen Horniness is Not a Crime CD by Krysta Now The notion is that a time rift is created in the desert and two people go through into the future, and then return, at which time one of them meets himself and the other meets his own corpse, since they come back a bit earlier than they left. The folks who sent them through in the first place arrange for the death of one of their earlier selves.

This temporal paradox leads to revision of reality. The fellow who meets his own corpse is Boxer Santeros, a movie star who, at the time of his departure, was working on a bad science-fiction screenplay. The fellow who drove him through the rift is Roland Taverner, a corrupt cop and damaged Iraq vet. The new reality is altered by the minds of those creating the paradox.

The Senator's daughter showing Cochchuggers 2 back cover Par example: When Boxer Santeros left he was married to the daughter of a Republican Senator. When he returned he was involved intimately with Gellar's character, porn star Krysta Now. If I could alter reality I might do something like that.

This world is entirely an altered reality, as it begins after the return of Santeros and Taverner. Hence, the characters are not going to behave like people normally behave. They behave as Santeros and Taverner would have them behave in a bad sci-fi screenplay and post-traumatic delusion.

The best performance in this film is that of Cheri Oteri, who plays Zora.

Watch this film when you have the time to pay attention.

French Southland Tales DVD cover Scenes that were in the Cannes cut and either deleted or modified for the DVD have been posted on YouTube. You can find several of them on Fluid Karma, the Southland Tales Fanlisting.

The Southland Tales Soundtrack contains music by The Pixies, Bertha Tilman, Moby, Waylon Jennings, Elbow, Jane's Addiction, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and Roger Webb. Also there is Rebekah del Rio singing the Star Spangled Banner.

Argentina Las horas perdidas The Hours Lost
Hungary A káosz birodalma In the Realm of Chaos
Italy Così finisce il mondo So the World Ends
Greece Istories apo to telos tou kosmou Stories From the End of the World

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Elbow

The film played in 63 theaters in the US before being released on DVD. It grossed $275,380.

Sarah Michelle Gellar
- Krysta Kapowski/Krysta Now
Janeane Garofalo
- General Teena MacArthur
Rebekah Del Rio - Vanessa Vera Cruz
Bai Ling - Serpentine
Cheri Oteri - Zora Charmichaels
Amy Poehler - Veronica Mung/Dream
Dwayne Johnson
- Boxer Santaros/Jericho Cane
Jon Lovitz - Bart Bookman
Carlos Amezcua - Himself
Curtis Armstrong - Dr. Soberin Exx
Robert Benz - Tab Taverner
Todd Berger - Bing Zinneman
Joe Campana - Brandt Huntington
Chris Andrew Ciulla - UPU 4 Officer 3
Aaron Dillar - Jimmy Hermosa
Nora Dunn - Cyndi Pinziki
Shari Dunn - Michele Durrett
Michele Durrett - Starla Von Luft
Jon Falcone - Soldier Falcon
Leila Feinstein - Herself
Jaret Gardiner - Shane Laverne
Beth Grant
- Dr. Inga Von Westphalen/Marion Card
Wood Harris - Dion Element
Shannon Lee Holmes - Todd Zinneman
Katherine Kendall - Megazeppelin Waitress
Jinah Kim - Dr. Linda Lao
Christopher Lambert - Walter Mung
John Larroquette - Vaughn Smallhouse
Gianna Luchini - Deena Storm
Abbey McBride - Sheena Gee
Mandy Moore - Madeline Frost Santaros
Mike Nielsen - Kenny Chan
Holmes Osborne - Senator Bobby Fros
t Lou Taylor Pucci - Martin Kefauver
Miranda Richardson - Nana Mae Frost
Jill Ritchie
- Shoshana Kapowski/Shoshana Cox
Kevin Robertson - Seamus Storm
Zelda Rubinstein - Dr. Katarina Kuntzler
Will Sasso - Fortunio Balducci
Seann William Scott
- Roland Taverner/Ronald Taverner
Wallace Shawn - Baron Von Westphalen
Sab Shimono - Hideo Takehashi
Kevin Smith - Simon Theory
Philip Sternberg - Dennis Voogler
Justin Timberlake - Private Pilot Abilene
Lisa K. Wyatt - Teri Riley
Dave Carlin - News Reporter
Katarina Hyde - Isabella/Interpreter
Sharon Jordan - Secretary
Sean LoGrasso - US Ident Worker
Paulah May - Hysterical Passenger
Matt McColm - Bar Bouncer
John T. O'Brien - Swat Team Officer
Philip Roosevelt - Homeless Terrorist
Eli Roth - Man who gets shot on Toilet
Gary Sievers - Homeless Terrorist

Dancers: Sarah Christine Smith - Nicole Sciacca - Aliane Baquerot - Becca Sweitzer - Chi Johnson - Jenna Stewart - Rachael Markarian - Marcy McCusker

Gellar actually has a song (below) in this film (which was cut from the DVD version).


  • Zombie film pic
  • Boxer Santeros
  • Zora and the cop
  • Frosted Krysta
  • Let's make a deal
  • On the beach
  • Aren't you Mr. Viola?
  • National anthem
  • Modern dance
  • Come to me
  • Krysta Now
  • zeroing in
  • Buying guns
  • Geometry
  • The Marxists
  • jquery slideshow
  • Battle of the Blondes
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